A man’s heart plans his way,

But the Lord directs his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

Vest: Thrifted

Shirt: Garage

Skirt: Reitnans

Boots: Forever 21

I am currently at the library, studying. (Studying: writing up this blog!)

I've been aiming to get better grades than last semester, I ended with at 3.6 GPA .. whatever that means. I did better than I have in a really long time. I'm in the home stretch of my course, but I'm considering bridging over to a degree program (bachelor of commerce). I don't know yet though. My dad really wants me to, but it's hard. It would require me getting a loan and that freaks me out. I hate loans, I hate debt, I hate owing people anything.

I've been thinking about it a lot though, really asking myself the questions of, "why do you want to do it?"

Here's the real deal y'all (I'm Canadian, but sometimes I say y'all.. I don't know, don't judge me!) ...

I've lived my life a certain way for a really long time... I've always done what others have wanted me to do. I am, undoubtedly, a people pleaser. Now, if you know me personally, you're probably thinking, "uh, no you're not!" and you'd be right. I don't walk around wanting to please everyone, but I do want to please my parents and my brothers. This isn't a bad thing but it's also prevented me from taking risks that I otherwise would have. So, as I've pondered the question on why I want to study, I've come to this simple truth; I want to do it for me. I want to accomplish the one thing I thought I would my whole childhood; to prove to myself that I can and that I will., (Not completing school several times, has taken a toll on my ego and has caused me think that I am not as smart as I thought)

Yes, I have this plan and I'll do everything I need to do in order to accomplish it but sometimes life does not go as planned. God ultimately has the power over my life, all that I do is for HIS glory, not mine.If for whatever reason, for whatever purpose, God leads me in a direction that is not what I planned, I am willing to follow it. The promise of hope, future and peace is enough for me. There is not greater call on my life than to follow JESUS.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.