Let's Chat: Sibling "Rivalry"

Today’s post is inspired by my co-workers conversation. She was telling me how she’s amused by these hockey coaches she knows. Apparently the other day, they got into a massive yelling match during a hockey game, mind you, not an adult hockey game, but a hockey game of eight year olds. And that now, they are the best of friends, who meet up every week. She’s genuinely confused, and doesn’t understand how that can happen. To tell you the truth, I’ve known that guys are this way for a while. They can literally get into a brawl, only to be besties a few hours later. But is this the case for all men? Is it just some men? I don’t know. Maybe you should ask someone that knows, because I genuinely know nothing.

I grew up in a household of men (previously known as boys) and I’m still confused most of the time. So I decided, that in honour of a belated “national sibling day”, I’d have a candid discussion about what it’s like to grow up with brothers and how it didn’t help me at all for the real world. First, I guess I should describe what my relationships with my brothers are like. We aren’t on speaking terms. . . Just kidding! As if! My family talks all the time, all day, I genuinely wonder whether we’ll run out of stuff to discuss sometime. Anyways, I’ll stick to the subject. Here are some basic stories, so y’all can get an inside view of the Alvarez (my last name, icydk) household:

My one brother is a complex creature. Always trying to pretend he’s not sensitive, but really he is. It’s a fine line. It takes years of experience to realize when you’ve gone too far, or when you haven’t gone far enough. For example, one time, we were arguing. And mid argument, I became a total girl, and went for the jugular. I spilled the beans about a certain person in his life, who was not being very nice to him. There could have been one million other times, where I could have let him know the situation, but instead I waited for an opportunity that gave me the greatest reward. Apparently the reward was winning this dumb argument.
Side note: Don’t judge me. You know you’ve all done this before. We wait. We keep it in our arsenal, and we pull it out in times of war. Don’t even pretend.

Anyways, I realized the time was now! And well, it had the desired effect. He immediately shut down and stopped talking to me. Now, I thought that this would last for a couple hours. Oh boy, I was mistaken. He gave me the silent treatment for AN ENTIRE WEEK. Guys, I mean… I tried talking to him the next day and he was the ice princess ...I mean, Mr. Freeze. On the flip side: He does NOT enjoy being ignored. I would get mad at him often, and I’d go to my room, slam the door, and linger in my own puddle of angry tears (nothing was ever serious enough to warrant this type of lunacy but hey, I was little) and he’d trot up the stairs and knock on the door and ask me to hang out. I would say no. and he’d sit in front of the door and every few minutes ask “how about now? We could be doing so much right now”. Uh hello young man, I am doing a lot right now, I’m over here being mad. He is a solid bud though.

Now my other brother, he’s a gem of a human being (sarcastically and genuinely). I remember one time we were mid fight, I’m pretty sure about who was allowed to choose what we would be watching on the television. And well, I’m up for a good argument every now and then, and was not budging from my position and my seat. Y’all know that we have “our spots” on couches and such. Apparently, I was in his spot. He got up and he grabbed me by my ankles (how rude!) and yanked, yes, YANKED, me onto the floor! Guys, this is hilarious. Like, just use your imagination. Like who does that? Oh, that’s right, my brother. But like I said he’s a gem. On another occasion, I was crying (I don’t know if these stories really put me in a shining light) about probably not being allowed to eat a cookie or something, and he saw me. He called me over, and he allowed me to sit beside him as he played his piano. He played until I stopped crying, gave me a hug and told me that everything would be fine. Everything was indeed fine, but I always remember it. He was also the only family to see my crying after a boy hurt my feelings. He sat down and explained to me that he knew I’d make someone very happy one day, if I treated him as well as I treated them (my brothers) he’d be very lucky dude (cue the ‘awws’).

And this is why friends, I don’t claim to know anything. People are all different. No matter the gender. The real question I often wonder about is how did women end up getting the label of being complicated? Do you know how many conversations I’ve had with these guys and have left super confused. Legitimately all the time. However, there is no better feeling in the world than knowing you got two big dudes that will have your back at the end of the day, and I guess that makes it all ok. Ugh, all this sap is making me nauseous.

In conclusion, I have two pieces of advice.

1. Mothers: Listen, I’ve seen a grown man cry for their mom. I’ve had to go and call my mom and be like “mom, your son is wondering why you aren’t holding his hand right now?” Just because they are boys, it doesn’t mean they are emotionless. If anything, they might be more emotional. Establish a relationship, let them say what they feel; there will be a moment when he is 30 where he’ll call you crying. But don't you worry, his sister will be in the background calling him a big baby.

2. Sisters: learn to be a “bro”. Don’t be so sensitive. Try to take interest in the things they like. Trust me, if you do, they’ll hang out with you more. And give you lunch money and beautiful watches for your birthday (but like, don’t just do it for that. I’m just saying it’s a perk). Also, sometimes they want to talk to someone, someone that understands the “emotional stuff”. This will also give you some leverage for the next argument. Bahaha, just kidddding.  Do it because you love them. Also, you might need a male perspective sometime, and who better to ask than someone who cares about you.

Well, hopefully the next post isn’t as gross as this one. Tell me about your sibling relationships. Should I have wished for a sister?