Pretty In Pink | Beauty

“A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.”
― Coco Chanel

Skirt: Old Navy
Sweater: Reitmans
Shoes: Le Chateau 

There is beauty in all things. Even in the ugliest of things, if you look just hard enough, there is beauty hidden in there somewhere. Keep looking. Don't let the ugly of the world change your perspective of your life. There is beauty hidden in there. Deep down, in the crevices of the situation. Some new form of life is being formed. Because, there is beauty somewhere in there. Even when the horizon is filled with dark clouds and pouring rain, there will come a moment where the rain must cease and the sun must peak through the clouds. And if you've turned your head or lowered your face into your hands, you'll miss it. The beauty that comes right after a great big thunderstorm. A promise will appear, waves of color from one end to another, as far as you can see. But if you're too busy looking at the darkness of the clouds, or have run inside for some shelter, you'll miss the beauty. The beauty peaking through the clouds. It might not be easy to stand in the rain, it might bring on sickness, fever and a cold, but that's nothing a coat and umbrella can't fix. If you just believe, with all of your heart, there is beauty somewhere in the corner of that situation. 

There is beauty in all things. Even in the hardest moments of your life, if you just look hard enough, there is beauty in there somewhere. Stay strong. Don't let the heartbreak build walls around your heart, life isn't about safety, but about the adventures you're willing to take. Behind that curtain that you've put up so nobody can hurt you again, there is a someone looking for a person just like you. They are ready to bulldoze through those walls, but if you're hiding behind the curtain, you won't see them working hard to make their way to you. There is beauty in this heartbreak, that will form you to be a better lover and friend. Where something has been burned down, there is something ready to grow. There is beauty in there somewhere, in the deepness of your pain, something beautiful is about to spring up. Like a flower in the spring. Ready to show it's beautiful petals after being covered in snow. Because there is beauty in all things.

And even if you can't see it, I see you. And you are as beautiful as that flower. And if you'll hold on for a little while, stay strong for a bit longer, you'll be the beauty in the midst of the ugly. Because no matter what you go through, if you don't let it ruin you but change you into exactly who you want to be, than every ugly thing has served a beautiful purpose. To make a beautiful you. And believe me, just like that flower, you are beautiful. And one day you'll be that beautiful thing, that someone holds on to when they believe that there is beauty in all things.                                                                                                                      Sincerely,
                                                                                                                                R.

The Broken Road

It's incredibly hard to live in a world surrounded by married people... when you're single. Nobody understand you unless they too are single. I can imagine all the eye rolls and audible sighs that all the married people just let out. This is N-O-T a posting about how much I H-A-T-E being single or how L-O-N-E-L-Y I appear to be. This is about the path I am currently on, and how I've come to appreciate it.

A couple years ago, I cried myself to sleep because the loneliness consumed me. I didn't know what else to do. Every person has different advice.. "wait on the Lord, he will provide." "Lose a little bit of weight!" "Enjoy being single, cause when you're married you can't do anything!" "Stop being so picky" "Have you prayed about it?" "Keep the faith!" "You're still so young" and the worst one.. "You just need to put yourself out there!"

Humbug! 


I have realized one thing and that is that I can't force time to move quicker. That I can't change who I am in a day and that if I am not happy with me, that I won't be happy with him. That I am N-O-T incomplete. I am thankful for this road I'm on, because it's allowed me to grow -- grow in knowledge, in strength, in love, and into my own skin. I appreciate my little quirks and imperfections more than I did when I was 18. I have a committment to being the best I can be, not to impress, but to make this world a much better place. And even with all the bumps on the road disguised as a broken heart, or the cracks on the pavement that holds the memories of past loves .. or the winding road that made me dizzy with fear of failure .. there has always been the reflection of the setting sun, where I remembered my deepest dreams; the spontaneous trips that led to self discovery or the straight and narrow path that has been perfecting my attitudes and perspectives... I am thankful for this broken road. I am thankful for the nightly roadtrips from one place to another, where I felt like I couldn't hold on any longer. Where my eyeslids felt heavy from the tears that I'd cry. I am thankful for the road that was only lit by the light of the moon, because it always held the promise of the rising sun-- the promise of something new. I am thankful for the view  on the side of the road of the fields covered in early morning dew, the rays of the sun making it hard to see, whispering that it was a brand new start. I am thankful for this road, because it's leading me straight to him.

Sincerely,

R

Beautiful

"Sometimes people are beautiful.
Not in looks.
Not in what they say.
Just in what they are.”
― Markus Zusak

 

Skirt: Thrifted
Blouse: Winners
Shoes: Payless

 I started juicing this week. I was so nervous to start because I thought it was going to be disgusting. To my very pleasant surprise it's actually really yummy. I like it. I've been trying to hop back on the "healthy" lifestyle bandwagon and I felt like trying something new. I recommend it to anyone.Don't be scared of the spinach. You can barely taste it.
 

I'm about to finish my second semester as a human resources student. It's been pretty interesting. I can't wait until I can fire someone... kidding. #sorrynotsorry

I recently went on a small vacation to this beautiful place called Muskoka. (See A Latte of Us for a full story with pictures) It was actually so beautiful up there. We didn't want to come home. And-- I got a small tan. It's really light on my legs you can barely tell its there.. unless you look closely. But my face and arms got darker than they were. So, I'm not as pale as I am in these pictures.


My keyboard is being really weird and isn't letting me press enter...                                                                                                   oh... there we go..

Anyways, I'm heading to zumba at 7:30 pm. I haven't zumba'd in ... over two months! *gaaasssspp
I am such advocate for zumba if you just wanna have some fun while getting some exercise. It's fun. Do it on your in between days. Don't worry -- you're not gunna be the only rhythmically challenged person there.



 

Waiting on Mr. Imperfect

Skirt: Ricki's
Vest: Old Navy
Shirt: Sears
Shoes: Payless

Dear    ...,

I wrote you a letter many years ago... describing to you the amount of pain that I was in. I wrote you that letter because I wanted to say goodbye but I didn't have the courage to do so at the time. As I was cleaning my room a few days ago, I found the letter at the very bottom of a box; underneath all the notes my best friends and I had passed between each other many years ago.

The letter was so articulate, so specific. As I continued to read sentence after sentence I began to remember the day that I wrote that letter. I was confused. T O R N between doing what I knew I should do, and doing what my heart wanted to do. I wrote you that I didn't really know how to describe my feelings for you. That every time you said, "I love you" ... I didn't believe you. How could I? Your actions always spoke more than your words. 

For some reason, I wrote that letter as if I was a victim of your deceit, lies and selfish behavior. Maybe I was, but I always knew better. I always knew I could just.. stop. Stop answering your phone calls and text messages. I was free to do whatever I wanted. But I thought I owed you an explanation about why marriage wasn't an option, being with you was an insane illusion. As I read the letter, I told you that I'd never felt that way before and that I was terrified that I never would. That I'd never cried over a boy and that I now understood why breaking up with someone was so hard. I'm not writing you this letter, a letter you'll never receive, because I want you to know that I've held onto something of "yours" for this long. I've learned a very valuable lesson. 

Trust is a very fragile thing. Happiness is a very fragile thing. Friendship is a very a fragile thing. Love is a very fragile thing. It takes so long to construct any of these things between yourself and another person and a few seconds to destroy it all. I know the exact moment I knew I didn't want to be with you anymore. The exact thought. The exact words you spoke. 

I was 'broken' for a long time. Wishing someone else would come along to take the place that felt so empty. I'm still waiting.  People always tell me that Mr. Perfect isn't coming. And that I'm too picky, too this or too that. But I believe. I believe that he is coming. For a long time, I thought that I would never feel those intense feelings again, that I'd be alone forever. Who's going to like me like you did? Truth is, you didn't like me. You liked who you thought I was, who I had portrayed myself to be. But as I've grown older and maybe just a little bit wiser... I believe that Mr. Imperfect is coming. And he will be perfect for me. So, I'll continue to wait..Patiently, sometimes not so patiently.

I finished my secret letter to you with these words, "I love you today but tomorrow I won't."

I suppose those words are as true as they were on that day...  but today I'll end with these simple words. Thank you for teaching me what kind of person I DESERVE in my life. That love is a fragile, beautiful thing. Not everyone is lucky enough to experience it. And when it happens to me ... I'll make sure it's a today, tomorrow and forever thing.

Sincerely,
R.

Pretty sure I need a tan.

 


There are several things about these pictures that make me super uncomfortable. 1) I'm such an awkward "model" and my photographer knows it. 2) I'm pale white. Why am I pale white? Well... we can say that it's my father fault. I tan pretty easy during the summer but since I don't spend a whole lot of time outside-- I'm still pretty pale. Ghostly pale. Pretty sure I need a tan.

This morning I woke up to write a small quiz. I tread this every week. I just don't understand any of the concepts in this class. Macroeconomics. Who needs that? I do-- well at least if I wanna graduate by December. 

It's Canada day today! So-- it's a holiday. It's the most confusing holiday ever though. Usually it lands on the Monday but this year it landed on a Tuesday. Which was annoying because I was super tired yesterday from the weekend but couldn't sleep in. And today we were going to go to the beach but that has been postponed due to "thunderstorm watch" .

I'm going back to the gym tomorrow after a month long hiatus. I'm dreading it. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be sore all over again. I had just gotten to the point where the soreness had reduced drastically and it was awesome. But lets be honest here, I've gained four lbs since I stopped going. This month has been the month of the munch. I've had the munchies everyday. I mean.. chocolate, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, cake, chocolate and ice cream. <--- no bueno!

Shall we talk about the outfit? Yeah, why not! The skirt is a wal mart skirt and I was super hesitant about buying it. It's a very fitted skirt... and originally I wanted to wear it with a white blazer. But I didn't have one at the time (I bought one this past weekend. Yay me!) and so I had to work with what I had. The skirt got a lot of compliments but its def something I will feel more comfortable in once I've lost a couple more lbs.

A small update + Goal Skirts

I have about 6 skirts that I like to call 'Goal Skirts"
I have made it my goal to lose enough weight so they will fit comfortably.
This is skirt number one.
I am down 15 lbs and about 7 inches around my body.
Hip hip Hooray!

Have you ever had a day where nothing is working and your hair is being incredibly stubborn and you give up? 

This was one of those days ..SO, I decided to the simplest thing I could think of.

It turned out well, I will not deny. 

Also, you can see the blue polka dots on my shirt in this picture.
(Which is explains the blue shoes) 

Love & Blessings,

               xoxo

It will be worth it.

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone....

Sam Levenson

Blazer: Suzy Shier

Dress: H & M

There have been many times this year where I have felt over whelmed with the amount of things I "need to do" I was having a very intense conversation with my father about two days ago where he asked me "What happened to you wanting to teach the young people in your youth group?" -- I didn't want to respond with "I'm too tired to think about that right now", but that was what I said any ways. He told me he understood, that I was taking on a lot of things this year, but that this one would give me the greatest reward of all. 

Sometimes, you question whether or not you're up for the task. I thought I got named youth leader of my local church this year because somebody else couldn't step up. And although I've been wanting to do it for a long time, the first thing that entered my mind was doubt. How was I going to do this? And it's been creeping around my head since day one. How would I accomplish to convince 15, 16, 17 year old kids that living a Godly and Holy life is the way to go? 

God has been taking me on a small journey in the last two months, rather than rebuking my doubt, he's been embracing me and my fears. Lovingly showing me that it is not what I can do, but it is what HE can do. I may feel lonely, but I am certainly not alone. I am blessed with three other people willing to help me with all these young people. And maybe I can't do what they can do.. but I MUST do what I can. And if all I can do right now is send a text message saying "I've missed you" or "I am here for you" and maybe an "I love you" than that's exactly what I'm going to do. 

I told a young girl before she got baptised last night, "You're joining God's team, and no matter what comes your way, God's on your side. And there is no battle He can't win." As I looked around, other young people from my youth group were worshipping God unashamed. With tears running down my face,I made myself a promise...I will keep going even when it may not be easy, it may be hard, I might suffer discouragement but if I can just pray one of these kids through there troubles or put my arms around these girls and whole heartedly tell them I love them, God will do the rest. And it will all be worth it. 

Black & White

Lasting change is a series of compromises. And compromise is all right, as long your values don't change.

-Jane Goodall 

Top: H&M
Skirt: Old Navy
Shoes: Le Chataeu 

Friendships are tricky things. They require a lot of work. I've been thinking about this a lot recently since my group of friends has drastically gotten smaller since high school. I've been reminiscing on some of my friendships that ended for what seemed like, at the time, really good reasons. Is it possible to "rekindle" a friendship with someone without being too paranoid that they will do the same thing to you again? Should a person receive a second chance if they weren't given the chance to fix whatever the "problem" was in the first place? How does one make this decision?

If you have any ideas or answers, please let me know! 

Change is necessary.

I don't know if you this but... It's Friday. 

I have to be at work in 10 minutes but I've decided to be a little late today. why?

Because its Friday! (and because I make my own schedule)

Can you believe that it's already the thirty first of January? I mean.. time really does fly. I've asked myself a bunch of times over the last month what I wanted to accomplish this year, what were are my goals. I usually make new years resolutions but for some reason this year I decided that I wasn't going to. I've spent the last two years working towards nothing and everything, that by the time the new year rolls around I'm completely cOnfUsEd. All I really know is that to change one must first accept that change is necessary. I look back on my life and see distinctive moments where something changed in me, drastically.I asked myself how that happened.. Sometimes it was forced upon me, sometimes circumstances such as heart break changed who I was and sometimes it was by choice. So, after reflecting and taking the time to talk to my cousin, friend and work out buddy in the sauna, I've decided to tackle one item at a time on my "things to change, improve & accomplish" list and that even though I might not be able to see results right away, its happening. Don't be overwhelmed, don't give up. Even if I'm feeling lonely, I am not alone. Lets be risk takers, be bold. If I'm not living my own life, whose going to live it for me? 

So on the top of my head, I made a short list of things I'd like to modify in my own life. 

1. Be loving -- whether the person deserves it or not. 

2. Be organized -- being sloppy only leads to tripping over your own things. 

3. Be healthy -- but don't forget to also be happy.

4. Be bold -- stop waiting for things to happen, make them happen.

5. Be responsible -- lets keep paying off your debt. 

6. Be consistent and determined -- on everything. not just school.

7. Be yourself -- this I'm good at already. 

8. Try something new, whats the worst that can happen? 

I used to be scared of pleated skirts cause I thought they'd make me bigger, I was wrong. & a hat-- that was a no-no. But I did it anyways. 

Love & Blessing.

               xoxo

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Its been a long winter...

& I'm back.
(again)

Sometimes, I wish I could treat this blog like a diary. If I did than I'd have so much more to write about than just ordinary things.

I guess I could try, maybe just this once.

I moved back home two months ago. At the time I thought it might be the best idea for me. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of debt and despair while I was living away and I thought that maybe moving back home would ease the pressure and I COULD BREATHE AGAIN. Well, it did. Financially this is the best I've been in a really long time. I have a steady job and steady income. I am finishing school, even if it is online learning, and I'm doing pretty good. 

So whats the problem?
I miss "home". I guess it became my home for a year and half but the travelling back and forth is driving me crazy. I miss just being in the city I know I'm meant to be in. Crazy enough, my parents and I haven't decided which city we will be moving too, but we know its going to be near the church.
I didn't think I'd miss it. To be honest, I was relieved to be coming home. And now I'm itching to move back! If only we could just snap our fingers and things would fall into place. 

anyways, on a brighter note--
I've lost 4lbs!
Oh, yes, I went back to the gym. Before I moved back I lost 10 lbs.

Thanks to my sister-in-law always willing to suffer the chilly freezing weather to try and capture at least one moment where I look normal. 

 Cardigan: Wal Mart
Blouse: Reitmans
Skirt: Unknown
Shoes: Suzy Shier
Hat: Payless 

Ps. This is my absolutely favourite one!